Ask Massage Therapist: are men an endangered specie?

This is a post from our tantric goddess Cherry, about a fun topic: are men an endangered specie?

As an independent Sydney Tantric masseuse, I feel as if I have access to a secret world, to which only few priviledged one have access to.

How Sydney masseuse can answer the question?

Tantric massage therapist account of male struggle:

“What does a woman want ?” the great Freud asked in frustration. He went to his grave with no answer. Novelist Jihn Updike might have come as close to the truth as anyone. Above all he suggested,women want to dance

You might have as much chance of deciphering a woman’s thought process as you would solving Fermat’s Last Theorem. Or even his Next-to-Last Theorem.

Innumerable attempts have been made to unravel the mystery of female behavior. All have ended in failure until now. Using my boundless sex appeal and a liter of Maker’s Mark, I have managed to pry the secrets from one of my ATFs.

Here are six mystifying quirks of female behavior that make the fair-and often unfair-sex both maddening and irresistible. Don’t bother trying to understand it. No one has or ever will.

1. THEY DON’T DEAL

A handshake with a man is a sacred covenant, to be broken only on pain of death or serious injury. It is an agreement you can take to the bank, unless, of course you are dealing with a Hollywood producer. Shake hands with a woman and you do at your own risk… For example…..

XDOG: How come you are not packed? You agreed that we are going to move back to my hometown in Minnesota.

ATF: and freeze to death? Ar you crazy?

XDOG: We had a deal. We shook hands on it.

ATF: I meant it at the time

2. SECRET? FORGET IT!!

Entrust a secret to a male friend and once again unless he is a Hollywood producer, the chances are that it will go no further. Share that same confidence with a woman and you might as well as broadcast it on CNN.

XDOG: When I told you about Bill’s affair with his hairstylist, you promised to keep it a secret. Now everyone in town knows about it and his wife just left him.

ATF: The only one I told was Linda.

XDOG: But she told six other people

ATF: Is it my fault she cant keep a secret?

3. THEY NEVER FORGET

Despite their vaunted reputation, elephants do occasionally forget something- an old bag of peanuts, a trainer they might have eaten. This is not the case with women. They forget nothing.

ATF (annoyed): How come you told me that my girlfriend Cindy is hot?

XDOG: When did I say that?

ATF: In Mexico. We were sitting around the pool. She was wearing a striped bikini.

XDOG: Good God. That was 7 months ago.

ATF: well, do you still think she is hot?

4. OR MAKE MISTAKES

Women are constitutionally unable to admit to making a mistake-even at the point of a gun. It is probably some kind of genetic malfunction. The last time a woman admitted to a mistake was during the Byzantine Empire in the 14th century Constantinople. The woman in question, Fatima Abdullah , later recanted and said it was a mistake to admit she’d made a mistake.

XDOG: How could you have gotten us into DumbTech? We bought at $60 a share and it is now down to 12 cents a share.

ATF: One of these days, that stock will go through the roof. Your problem is that you don’t think long term.

5. THEY DESPISE THEIR BODIES

There are men who are short, fat and bald-and they still have a high opinion of themselves. This is not the case with women. Outwardly vain, even the most spectacularly attractive member of the species feels that somehow appearance wise-she hasn’t made the grade.

XDOG: (lustfully staring at ATF’s perfect body as she stands before a mirror)You look fabulous.

ATF: Do these jeans make butt look big?

Do not ever answer this question (Man rule 12)

6. THEY SNORE

Call it a crime against nature, but a surprisingly large number of women snore. Even otherwise flawless types, not just butterballs. But no woman will ever admit to it.

XDOG: ( haggard from lack of sleep) Boy , You really raised the rafters last night. I didn’t get 10 minutes of sleep.

ATF: How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t snore.

XDOG: I’ve got proof. This time I recorded it. Listen to this. (Takes out cassette player)

ATF : (after listening) That’s not me. I cant believe you taped yourself snoring.

Tantric Massage Sydney reflection:

These are clearly crucial and ever so difficult areas for the endangered male specie. However, there is hope and it is possible to protect and preserve the male specie. How to achieve that? The answer is simple; all the male species needs to do in order to survive is to put the toilet sit down every time with no exceptions. Accordingly to an Oxford study this is the only one and single thing which can prevent male estinction.

Alternatively, you could visit what is considered to be a hilariously fun Asian independent masseuse in Sydney. This might help you reconnect with more primal instincts, perhaps a bit repressed by today’s society. LOL!

Seriously now, I found the above somewhere and I had to share it with you. I thought it was funny and it sort of bush on an old clishe’ really. But why not for the innocent sake of a giggle!

Until next time,

Cherry, From Kama massage